It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
