idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
