saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
