I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Small penises have feelings too.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
