Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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