In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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