Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
