there's paper in my vomit.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
When are your genitals available?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
