Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
