I puked a lego.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Randomize
