I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize
