names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
