i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
