How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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