fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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