Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
