Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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