There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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