Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Your dad touched me again.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
