I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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