And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
