White coat. Heels.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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