yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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