does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
