Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
