So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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