32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
