names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
