SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
