Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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