That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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