party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
