i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
