Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
