He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
