i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
