he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
