office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
