As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
