The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
