Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
