xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
