so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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