just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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