He asked me if I "almost moaned"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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