I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
