Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
