im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
