Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't deserve a penis
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
