I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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