I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
