I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
