i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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