If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
